Thursday, March 10, 2011

Soul Rest

There was a time when rest had become something of a luxury for me. I've always been a rather restless person always needing to be doing something, solving a problem, reading a book, never just still. And complete stillness is still very hard for me.

As a child I and into my twenties I struggled with OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). To be still was an invitation for the obsessions and compulsions to take over. It was a nescessity to keep my mind occupied at all times.

In my late twenties we finally found a medication that finally worked and I found myself free of most of my OCD symptoms. But the restlessness has persisted. Old habits die hard. And to be completely still results in a creeping feeling of unease. Then I realize I am waiting for the old thoughts and feelings to come back. And remembering them very nearly brings them back. So the cycle begins again as I seek to busy my mind.

I am learning to take very small periods of rest, of complete quietness, and then build on the success of these small rests. A small space of quiet sometimes goes a long way.

I am also learning that sometimes, rest, for me is simply knowing and accepting that Jesus loves me. It is a deep soul consciousness of His ability to hold and keep me regardless of the restlessness in my mind. He is bigger than Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

And therein lies rest.


I am joining the conversation about rest with others at Faith Barista.


  1. So true. I am glad that you've found a way to get small periods of rest and build on those ... and that you've found rest in the arms of Christ. He is indeed bigger than OCD and everything else that afflicts us.

  2. Amen, sister! God is indeed bigger:)

  3. I'm learning that rest looks different for everyone. Your rest might wear me out, but mine might drive you to distraction. It's a wonderful thing God created us all differently!

  4. "A small space of quiet sometimes goes a long way." This is an amazing piece of wisdom that is true. In this small practice, we find God and that is no small matter. Thank you, Rose!

  5. Maybe in finding small spaces of rest we learn to discipline ourselves and can continue to build upon that. Thank you for sharing your thoughts!