Today I am letting go of any plans that I had for the day and going with the flow. Because sometimes that's the only way.
Some nights in a houseful of kids just are not restful and last night was one of those nights. After a good hour of read aloud time - me reading aloud to Austin and Amanda - we tried to settle down. But Austin was restless. And when Austin in restless he taps things, and makes clicking noises with his mouth. And Amanda could not tune it out. Which was easily enough solved by me asking Austin if he would mind closing his bedroom door. He didn't mind and that should have been the end of that. Except now Amanda, who had been on the brink of sleep, was wide awake and furious. After talking awhile and then sending her on back to bed when it became clear that talking was going to do no good, she finally cried herself to sleep. By this time it was nearly 1AM. At last, I get to sleep. I'm sleeping soundly when the three and four year old both wake up at 2:30AM. Three potty trips, several blanket fixings, and one Bible story/song CD later they finally went back to sleep. It's now somewhere around 3:30AM. My first daycare kids come in sometime between 6:00 and 6:30AM. They doze and I doze but everyone is up to stay by 7:15. Whether I am ready or not it is time to begin the day.
Yesterday I wrote about what being a homemaker means to me. I had no idea I would be recalling those words so strongly today. But it's true, sometimes being a homemaker means more than the day to day chores of making a home. Sometimes being a maker of home means simply letting go of all the plans and ideas that I have about what I should be doing today (or resting up to do tomorrow) and simply being there for my kids. Home is not simply a place to live but a refuge, a place where it is safe to have needs, to have weaknesses and to know that someone will be there for you regardless.
So for today, I am letting go of plans and shoulds and need-tos. And I am simply being available for my family and those within my home. And if a quiet moment comes, I will not rush to "catch up" but instead will give myself some time to rest and refuel.