Resting

I slip out the door, barefoot, coffee cup in hand. It's nearly 9PM and still warm outside. There are a lot of things I should do but I'm craving a few minutes just to sit and think.  So I've slipped away while no one was looking to one of my favorite spots - the front porch with it's comfy chairs for moments when I need to press pause. I breath deep and feel myself relax a little. I imagine God smiled when He blessed me with this front porch with it's view of the mountains I love so much. 

I'm thinking of a few somewhat random things I've read today.

This facebook status from Walking Redeemed is on my mind.

There is a reason mothers often get to the end of the day and feel like they've accomplished nothing they had planned to do. It's because they spent the entire day accomplishing what everybody else *needed* them to. So sometimes our greatest accomplishments happen when we simply put down the to-do list!

And  I keep thinking about a passage from a book I'm reading with Austin and Amanda - The Gate of Heaven by Gilbert Morris . The story is set in Bible times and in this passage Jacob and Rachel are talking about the promises God made to Jacob as well as Rachel's desire for a child.

Rachel looked up at him. "Do you doubt the Lord?"

"No" Jacob said firmly. "But I know His time is not like ours. I don't think time concerns Him at all."

"How can that be?"

"I don't know" Jacob shrugged. "I don't think there ever was any beginning, and there never will be any end. But you and I and all humans, we're caught in time - like someone caught in a river. Yesterday is gone. We're sitting in the middle of today. Tomorrow may come if we live. We can't think any other way, but I don't believe the Almighty is like that. He just always is."

And finally I find my mind lingering again on this quote.

Think the thoughts you would think if you trusted God's promises completely. ~ Tommy Newberry

And I'm not sure how or why but I find my mind beginning to quiet. It's been a day filled with little ones, and work that needs to done, food to prepare, too many temper tantrums, the mom taxi to run, tears for Oklahoma, hugs and cuddles, lots of prayers, so many questions. 

I don't have all the answers. 

But I have the One Who does and that is where I am resting.

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Soul Rest

There was a time when rest had become something of a luxury for me. I've always been a rather restless person always needing to be doing something, solving a problem, reading a book, never just still. And complete stillness is still very hard for me.

As a child I and into my twenties I struggled with OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). To be still was an invitation for the obsessions and compulsions to take over. It was a nescessity to keep my mind occupied at all times.

In my late twenties we finally found a medication that finally worked and I found myself free of most of my OCD symptoms. But the restlessness has persisted. Old habits die hard. And to be completely still results in a creeping feeling of unease. Then I realize I am waiting for the old thoughts and feelings to come back. And remembering them very nearly brings them back. So the cycle begins again as I seek to busy my mind.

I am learning to take very small periods of rest, of complete quietness, and then build on the success of these small rests. A small space of quiet sometimes goes a long way.

I am also learning that sometimes, rest, for me is simply knowing and accepting that Jesus loves me. It is a deep soul consciousness of His ability to hold and keep me regardless of the restlessness in my mind. He is bigger than Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

And therein lies rest.



I am joining the conversation about rest with others at Faith Barista.