In His Own Timing God Will Make a Way

A couple weeks ago I wrote a post called When You Dream Alone. Dreaming alone can be an exercise in waiting. And it's easy during this time to get discouraged. It often seems impossible for these precious dreams to ever come true.  But it is becoming clearer and clearer to me that I truly do not have to see the way. Because when the dream comes from God - He WILL make a way when the time is right. And so I rest in the knowledge that the dream is safe in his hands. All I am asked to do are the steps He has placed before me today - grow in Him, continue learning daily, practice mindful living, make the most of each day he gives me, and trust Him. 

Because in His own timing

HE will make a way!

~ Also Linking Here ~

The Better Mom, Living Well Wednesdays, Titus 2sdays, Encourage One Another, Heart & Home Tuesdays!, It's A Party,Thought Provoking Thursday, Soli Deo Gloria Sisterhood, No Ordinary Blog Hop

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Morning Musing Over Coffee - His Unspeakable Gift

credit: Michelle Meiklejohn

Thanks be unto God for His unspeakable gift. 2 Corinthains 9:15

There are so many ways to try to describe this unspeakable gift that it's hard to know where to start. A baby in a manger, Son of God, Saviour of the world, Prince of Peace - these are just a few descriptions we are familiar with and quickly come to mind. And they are very apt descriptions.

But what does this gift mean to me personally? How would I describe this gift? When I try to put it in my own words I do find it hard to describe. How do I describe Someone who loves me unconditionally, who is always ready to hear me when I need to talk, and who has promised He will never walk away from me? How do I describe Someone who loved me so much He died for me to take the punishment that was rightly mine?

Words fail me and I have to say "Thank You Jesus for a truly unspeakable, indescribable gift of love."

~ Linking Here ~

hand and gift image credit: Master isolated images

Keeping Faith Fresh

Bonnie Gray from Faith Barista is asking the question this week - How is God challenging you to keep faith fresh?

It's a topic that hits close to home for me right now as we begin to make some changes.

Over the Christmas holidays last year, Doug and I talked about it and decided it was time for me to back the size of my licensed childcare business. We made this decision for a number of reasons, mainly because I wanted to be able to be more available to the children I did take care of instead of being spread so thin. We decided to make the cut around the end of the summer when several of my kids would be going to school anyway. Dropping the license and only caring for five or fewer kids would also mean a lot less paperwork, because being a licensed childcare comes with an awful lot of paperwork.

Now as we're getting closer to the time to cut back, Doug's hours are also being cut back at work. It's not an extreme cut, but it is a cut. And there are rumors of more cuts coming.

I find myself wavering, wondering if it's fair for me to cut back right now, when other things are uncertain. I wonder if I'm being selfish. But then I look at the kids around me and know that they need a mother and a caregiver who can be fully present, instead of pulled in so many directions at once. I know what is needed and that if I am willing to wait and trust, to have faith in His leading, He will provide enough light for each step I need to take. And as I take those steps, one by one, I will be led to make the right decisions.

So instead of stressing and worrying I will continue to take one step at a time, knowing that if He wants me change directions He will make the clear to me. If He wants me to continue this course that will also be clear and the what-ifs and how-tos will be dealt with in His perfect timimg.

For more on keeping faith fresh read the encouraging posts linked up at Faith Barista JAM.

Letting Go and Being Available

Today I am letting go of any plans that I had for the day and going with the flow. Because sometimes that's the only way.

Some nights in a houseful of kids just are not restful and last night was one of those nights. After a good hour of read aloud time - me reading aloud to Austin and Amanda - we tried to settle down. But Austin was restless. And when Austin in restless he taps things, and makes clicking noises with his mouth. And Amanda could not tune it out. Which was easily enough solved by me asking Austin if he would mind closing his bedroom door. He didn't mind and that should have been the end of that. Except now Amanda, who had been on the brink of sleep, was wide awake and furious. After talking awhile and then sending her on back to bed when it became clear that talking was going to do no good, she finally cried herself to sleep. By this time it was nearly 1AM. At last, I get to sleep. I'm sleeping soundly when the three and four year old both wake up at 2:30AM. Three potty trips, several blanket fixings, and one Bible story/song CD later they finally went back to sleep. It's now somewhere around 3:30AM. My first daycare kids come in sometime between 6:00 and 6:30AM.  They doze and I doze but everyone is up to stay by 7:15. Whether I am ready or not it is time to begin the day.

Yesterday I wrote about what being a homemaker means to me. I had no idea I would be recalling those words so strongly today. But it's true, sometimes being a homemaker means more than the day to day chores of making a home. Sometimes being a maker of home means simply letting go of all the plans and ideas that I have about what I should be doing today (or resting up to do tomorrow) and simply being there for my kids. Home is not simply a place to live but a refuge, a place where it is safe to have needs, to have weaknesses and to know that someone will be there for you regardless.

So for today, I am letting go of plans and shoulds and need-tos. And I am simply being available for my family and those within my home. And if a quiet moment comes, I will not rush to "catch up" but instead will give myself some time to rest and refuel.

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Soul Rest

There was a time when rest had become something of a luxury for me. I've always been a rather restless person always needing to be doing something, solving a problem, reading a book, never just still. And complete stillness is still very hard for me.

As a child I and into my twenties I struggled with OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). To be still was an invitation for the obsessions and compulsions to take over. It was a nescessity to keep my mind occupied at all times.

In my late twenties we finally found a medication that finally worked and I found myself free of most of my OCD symptoms. But the restlessness has persisted. Old habits die hard. And to be completely still results in a creeping feeling of unease. Then I realize I am waiting for the old thoughts and feelings to come back. And remembering them very nearly brings them back. So the cycle begins again as I seek to busy my mind.

I am learning to take very small periods of rest, of complete quietness, and then build on the success of these small rests. A small space of quiet sometimes goes a long way.

I am also learning that sometimes, rest, for me is simply knowing and accepting that Jesus loves me. It is a deep soul consciousness of His ability to hold and keep me regardless of the restlessness in my mind. He is bigger than Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

And therein lies rest.



I am joining the conversation about rest with others at Faith Barista.

A Small Space of Quiet

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In music the term rest refers to the pause in a piece of music. It is a small space of quiet. A pause between notes. Without those pauses, those spaces, the music would simply be a lot of noise. But the small moments of silence, rest, help to create the beauty of the song. We hardly notice these spaces and yet they are an integral part of the composition of the song.

In the song of my life I also must add pauses, moments of silence, small times of rest, or my life song simply becomes a lot of noise.

My moments of rest will come in the form of small things. A quiet prayer of thanksgiving. A cup of coffee while watching the birds. Listening to a favorite song on repeat. Taking a minute to enjoy the view of the mountains from my back yard. Small pauses between the notes that make up the music of my life - integral parts of the composition of song.

For more posts on the subject of rest visit Faith Barista.

Forgiveness

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I've been contemplating forgiveness today.

What it means. How it looks. Feels. Just letting the concept roll around in my mind.

It's a big word. It holds a lot of meaning. I was thinking it carries a lot of weight. And then I realized - it's not a weighty word at all. It is, instead, a freeing word.

Because to forgive is to let go. Not always to forget but simply to let go. Let of the need to hold onto the . . . the what . . . the weight? The need to, maybe, to be in control.

And yet, what am I controlling?

Something simply to pull out and look at again? 

It reminds me of the child, struggling to hold onto a fistfull of balloons on a breezy day. And there is the struggle. The struggle between the felt need to hold onto and control these ballooons and the desire to let them go and watch with delight as they soar away. The struggle between the desire to use little hands to hold on tightly and the desire to have the hands free for other delights.

In the end, I am happier when I let my balloons of unforgiveness soar away. Go where they will.

Then, once again, my hands, and my heart, are free to receive the blessings that God is so patiently waiting to give to me.

I choose forgiveness.

For more thoughts on forgiveness head on over to Faith Barista.